Transformers: The Last Knight: Review

• This is a NON-Spoiler review for Transformers: The Last Knight. And I beg you not to see this movie.

• Plot Summary: "Humans are at war with the Transformers, and Optimus Prime is gone. The key to saving the future lies buried in the secrets of the past and the hidden history of Transformers on Earth. Now, it's up to the unlikely alliance of inventor Cade Yeager, Bumblebee, an English lord and an Oxford professor to save the world."

• This is actually one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Everything technical like the editing to the dialogue to the acting is atrocious. I can't stand this movie. I honestly don't even know where to begin talking about all the problems. I watched the first three Transformers movies a long time ago and was bored out of my mind. I guess I can start by saying that I hate every robot in this entire movie. They're all completely obnoxious caricature robots. John Goodman plays a robot that's basically a war general and he smokes a cigar. Mark Wahlberg has freaking transformer puppies. Anthony Hopkins has an obnoxious Transformer butler that plays an organ "to make things more epic." I'm serious! that is a real quote from the movie.

• The characters are horrible. There is a young tough girl we all saw in the trailers named Izabella. I hate this character. This is Michael Bays attempt to make a strong female character. If you want to watch a movie that does a strong character right, then GO WATCH WONDER WOMAN! If you want to watch a young strong female character than watch Logan or Stranger Things. It's obnoxious how hard they try to make this character tough. They are constantly beating over the head with "Hey she's strong and she'll just walk right up to a giant robot and not even be afraid." And the actress is horrible in this movie too. Which I don't really blame the actors too much for being bad in this movie when you have a terrible director like Michael Bay.

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• There are so many jokes in this movie. The jokes are infinite. And not a single one lands. The script is absolute CRAP. Every scene is written is the most boring way possible. My mind drifted off so many times I forgot I was watching a movie sometimes. I hate how the aspect ratio changes. This movie has the worst editing of the year. There's one scene that has a shot that lasts like 2 frames. It was so laughable whenever this movie tried to get serious and emotional. Michael Bay.........DO NOT ask me to get emotional watching Mark Wahlberg being sad about his wife when John Goodman's cigar smoking transformer is standing right there. Why is Anthony Hopkins in this movie? He came he said the worst dialogue of his entire career and he got a paycheck. I like Mark Wahlberg a lot but he sucks in this movie.

• I couldn't wait for this piece of crap to end. I ACTUALLY started feeling physically nauseated waiting for the credits to roll. The movie actually felt like 4 hours. A movie with giant robots beating the crap out of each other shouldn't put you to sleep like it almost did to me. The trailers advertised this whole plot with Optimus Prime turning bad and destroying all his friends, but he doesn't do ANY damage until the last act and it's only for last 5 minutes. He's a little lesson Michael Bay, if you don't make me give a crap about anything, the action is completely meaningless and boring. So if you want to go see a movie with stupid human characters doing stupid things for 4 hours with some boring explosions along the way, then you be my guest.

• This franchise represents the worst things about Hollywood. I'm proud that domestically people are smart enough to know not to waste their brains on this crap. PLEASE let this be the last one. Or at least Michael Bay's last one. Can we Smurfs this franchise up and make them stay on their planet? Anyway, The grade is an F