The Fate of the Furious: Review

• Fa-eight-te of the Furious. Fate/eight. Get it?......ohhh what have I done?

• Plot Summary: "With Dom and Letty married, Brian and Mia retired and the rest of the crew exonerated, the globe-trotting team has found some semblance of a normal life. They soon face an unexpected challenge when a mysterious woman named Cipher forces Dom to betray them all. Now, they must unite to bring home the man who made them a family and stop Cipher from unleashing chaos."

• This is my first and last Fast and Furious movie. I decided last Tuesday that I felt like seeing some dumb action. This movie is exactly what you'd expect it to be - COMPLETELY STUPID. And I understand that that's the point. So doing a review is a bit complicated because dumbness is what you come for. Let's just get this over with. The comedy always sucks. There are so many TERRIBLY written scenes.

• The acting is mostly just everyone just trying to look cool and tough. I can't stand Michelle Rodriguez in anything she does. The characters seriously got on my nerves. The arguments were exhausting, especially between Tyrese Gibson and pretty much everybody. Tyrese Gibson's character drove me insane. Dwayne Johnson got annoying too. I really can't stand Jason Statham EVER. I got really tired of watching Charlize Theron being her cheesy villain character. And they somehow managed to get big and serious actors like Kurt Russell and FREAKING HELEN MIREN! I just realized that I HATE every single person in this movie.

• Okay, all the things I just mentioned I know is something you expect from these series. I think this movie's biggest problem is the LONG LONG period of time that's completely boring. About half way through the movie starts I guess a 45 minute period where nothing dumb happens. Pretty much every moment that isn't dumb in this movie sucks, and I think there's way too much time where the movie actually tries to have a story. But the finale does deliver with the dumbness.

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• Let's talk about that dumbness. This movie is completely absurd. Science doesn't exist. The cheesy action cinematography and slow motion is all over the place. You can definitely expect over the top explosions, car chases, and 80's action dialogue. You've got scenes with Vin Diesel driving off a cliff and driving away from a missile. Dwayne Johnson punching and denting a metal wall. Charlize Theron hacking into thousands of cars to make a stampede through the streets. It's got it all!

• This is exactly what you'd expect. If you feel like seeing a completely stupid movie this weekend, then go ahead. I tried and I deeply regret it. I won't be seeing these anymore. I just can't do this again. I CANNOT watch Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson or The Rock and Jason Statham argue anymore. I CAN'T! I totally believe Vin Diesel when he says this movie will get nominated for Best Picture. I guess I gotta grade it now. C+ I guess. GOODBYE FAST AND FURIOUS!......so glad that's over.