Murder on the Orient Express: Review

• I promise that this is a NON-Spoiler review for ‪Murder on the Orient Express‬. So Captain Jack Sparrow, Rey, Catwoman, M from ‪James Bond‬, Olaf, Green Goblin, and Gilderoy Lockhart all play dress up on a train.

• Plot Summary: "A lavish trip through Europe quickly unfolds into a race against time to solve a murder aboard a train. When an avalanche stops the Orient Express dead in its tracks, the world's greatest detective -- Hercule Poirot -- arrives to interrogate all passengers and search for clues before the killer can strike again."

• I was pretty excited to see this movie. I love a good mystery story. I love the Sherlock Holmes books, movies, and the show. I was excited to watch the whole cast including Daisy Ridley and ‪Johnny Depp‬. Again NO SPOILERS. I was reading a film book called Directing Movies by Sidney Lumet in a Barnes and Noble and in his book Sidney Lumet spoiled the entire Murder on the Orient Express book. Having the spoilers for the book in my head, it took a lot of the fun out of watching the movie. Because all the guessing I had done in this movie was a lot less fun because I knew there was a good chance the movie would follow the book. I won't say if it did or not.

• So I was disappointed in the entire movie. And look if you're thinking "Of course you were disappointed. The whole mystery was spoiled for you." Well everyone that I saw the movie with, didn't find the mystery interesting either. I think when you're making a mystery "It was the butler" story, then I think that the goal should get the perfect the moment when everyone in the audience gasps. If a mystery movie like this doesn't make anyone in the audience gasp, then I think you've failed. Nobody in my audience gasped. So I don't think it's just me having been spoiled.

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• I think most of the main stars did their best. I thought that surprisingly Michelle Pffiefer was really struggling with some of her scenes. But all the other big names of this movie do fine with what they're given. I couldn't stand the way Penelope Cruz's character was portrayed. It really felt like since Kenneth Branagh was starring in and directing this movie, he gave all the best stuff to himself. Seems a bit like his Harry Potter character. It felt like the story was serving the detective character instead of a good mystery. You're following this character for a while. And I thought the way his character was written was fun. He feels kinda like a cheap version of Sherlock Holmes. But everything throughout the movie and the ending felt like it was all building to a moment to where his character would shine, which works in some ways. But I just don't think that was a smart move at all. I definitely would have preferred a gasp moment.

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• And I thought there was a lot of really weird score and cinematography choices. It always felt like they were desperate to find another place on the train to film. And any scenery shot was definitely CGI. I think a big part of the reason why this movie doesn't really work is the writing. It feels like it's trying really hard to make you care about characters in moments. In one scene Michelle Pffiefer is telling Kenneth Branagh her life story moments after they just met. And it felt to me like an hour into the movie before we even got to the mystery. And it always annoys me whenever characters are offended that they're being interrogated. You were on the train! Don't you understand that you should be a suspect!? And every interrogation scene feels like a soap opera. "You did it for the money didn't you?! No! No! It's not true!" Dun! Dun! DUUUUNN!

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• It doesn't ever make you want to think or play detective in my opinion. And I think a big reason for that is because it was hard to follow every word that is being said. I don't think that you can expect your audience to hear every word that is said especially when your detective has a strong Belgian accent. I don't think that Kenneth Branagh did a very good job at transferring this over from book to film. Because when you're reading a book, every word is going into your brain. There is no harsh accent to try to understand in a book. This is why I think Kenneth Bragnah should have been studying not only the book but also the other popular detective stories. I think that he should have been studying Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock. That show knows how to use the camera to not only help you understand what's happening, but also suck you in and emphasize. That show really knows how to visually help you understand what's happening and not through dialogue. This movie fails at showing and not telling.

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• If you give this a try to see the cast I don't blame you. If Harrison Ford were in a movie that was getting awful reviews, I would still go see it. Because there is a lot of glamour and stars everywhere. And they're all kinda playing caricatures, which isn't always a bad thing. I just don't think that a cast who rarely stands out is enough to save the movie at all. And again, this is a mystery movie that didn't ever surprise it's audience. But I encourage anyone who wants to go see and form their own opinion. My grade for ‪Murder on the Orient Express‬ is a C